When You’re Addicted to Self Criticism

Shannon Self Criticism
I fell off the wagon and it hurt.
 
I never thought of myself as having an addictive personality, but then I grew older and wiser and got a clue. It turns out addiction comes in all forms. Maybe it’s drugs, alcohol, food, love, sex, shopping, exercise. Mine? I’m going to finally say it out loud. Hello, I’m Shannon and I’m addicted to Self Criticism.
 
“Love yourself just as you are!” I say.
 
YES, please! Sounds great. Should be easy, right? Well, it’s a difficult practice for some of us. 
 
I work hard at practicing what I preach. But some days, I just … can’t. You know what I mean? We can find a million different reasons to just NOT practice. It’s too hard, I’m too tired, I’m not good enough, it’s a waste of time anyway … and all of a sudden, I’m drunk on self criticism. Within no time, I’m WAY off the wagon. Flat on my ass.
 
If you can relate, then you know that when you have worked so hard to achieve and maintain a certain level of clarity in life, when you fall, it can feel more painful than ever.
 
Becoming more aware and conscious can be a blessing and a curse. You’ve worked hard to be more open and vulnerable, but that actually leaves you open to free fall into a black hole of self doubt, self loathing and name calling. You thought you were strong enough to take a risk, and now you’re wondering if you’ll ever forgive yourself for showing up and trying something new. 
 
And that same old voice starts up again …
 
“How could you have been so foolish? Such an imperfect loser? You have an image to uphold, so much for that!”
 
It’s time to shut down that ugly sound track. But just like with any addiction, that takes patience, forgiveness and a whole lot of SELF LOVE.
 
Here’s my note to myself – and to you:
What we do next is what matters most. 
What if we embrace the glorious mess? Trust ourselves more. Forgive ourselves more. Love ourselves MORE. 
Let go of the need to be perfect all of the time. Shake off the limiting beliefs … mentally, emotionally and physically. 
Dust ourselves off, rise up and slay those untruths with some heartfelt positive affirmations.
 
Here’s an example: 
I’m a strong and compassionate woman because I DO show up with all of my heart.
I DO try.
And I am going to grow and learn from each experience.
 
It may take a while for us to rewrite our stories, and that’s okay. 
 
Meanwhile, I will continue to write, “Love yourself just as you are!” and I will continue to do all I can to believe it.
___________
 
We are here for you in the dark. Just show up – to dance, to try something new (without judgment) and to celebrate YOU.
 

6 thoughts on “When You’re Addicted to Self Criticism

  1. Thank you, Shannon!!! You’ve given bright and eloquent words to a really sticky and dark truth I think a lot of women deal with. I know I do. Hearing that I am not alone and feeling lifted up by your resolve is such a blessing. Thanks for being there for us, here for us! XOX

    1. You are most definitely not alone!
      Thank you for your beautiful words and for letting me know this touched you and lifted you up.
      XO

  2. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I am going to give to my daughter to read . These words are what I needed to hear. I love u. What we do next is truly what matters.

    1. Thank you, Patricia! Wow, that means so much to me. You have inspired me to share it with my daughter too. I love you!

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